September 30, 1998


"You guys, I've had the perfect place to go all along!" I exclaimed. "You just wouldn't let me say anything! Geesh. The place we're going is ..."

"The Bahamas???" shouted Zac.

"Hawaii?????" shouted Taylor.

"The Virgin Islands???????" shouted Jos.

"The Netherlands?????????????" shouted Lucy.

"THE NETHERLANDS???????????" everyone said, turning to Lucy.

She looked at the floor. "Well ... you know ... I just thought ... 'Dutch people are nice.'"

I rolled my eyes. "NO. None of above. We're going to ... CEDAR POINT, THE WORLD'S LARGEST ROLLER COASTER PARK!!!"

"I HATE ROLLER COASTERS!" exclaimed Jos.

"You do not. OK, maybe you do. But I want to gooooo!!!!" I whined. "This summer, my dad was looking up Cedar Point on the internet, and told me that we may go, and I got alllll excited and then, DO YOU KNOW WHAT???"

"WHAT??" exclaimed Zac.


"AAAAAAAUGGGGHHH!!!!!" screamed Lucy.


"NO!" shouted Isaac.

"It was horrible!!!!"


"But I *hate* roller coasters."

It was an eventful day at Cedar Point, during which Jos visited the Parthenon, using the excuse that "Ancient Greece is much more exciting than *roller* *coasters*!" (Bah, I'm sure. ANCIENT GREECE doesn't have the "Barrell Roll" roller coaster. More exciting, my foot.) Lucy and I rode the Screamer sixteen times and didn't get sick even *once*. Even Zac had to sit out the eleventh time, claiming, "The bar doesn't feel like it's holding me down." Bah. We were more adventurous than anyone.

We went back to our hotel (ok, we don't *have* "a hotel", we decided on one in beautiful Hawaii that evening), and swam in the ocean for awhile. When we got up the next day, it was time to decide what we were going to do again.

As the six of us walked along the beach, stopping at times to pick up shells and watch the sun rise (of course, I would *not* have been up at the time of the sun rise, but we stayed up until 5 in the morning the night before, and then, as a test run, under Jos's protests that "I just went to Ancient Greece and I'm *fine*, it doesn't need a 'test run,'" we blasted ourselves back to 5 that night and slept for 12 blissful hours then got up to watch the sun rise) and run out into the ocean and get soaking wet for no good reason, Jos recounted her tale of Ancient Greece.

"You will *not* believe what beautiful people these men and women are! I mean, you think that *Leonardo* *DiCaprio* [author's note: I don't think anyone in this group actually *does*, but I couldn't think of anyone else at this present time] is beautiful? No. These people, even their *slaves*, were beautiful. I guess it comes from the clean air and the fresh air. They're all about fifteen times more muscular than the average person today.

"I got to see CICERO give a speech!! I didn't understand any of it, of course, but it sounded like music. The Ancient Greek language is so awesome. It was ... so great." Jos sighed.

"We'll have to go back sometime," I suggested, picking up a shell that appeared at first to be intact. "I think it sounds like fun." I noticed that the shell was broken in half, and I was about to throw it back in the ocean when I got an idea. "Maybe--MAYBE!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAAAAAAYYBEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!" I waved the shell around in the air so hard that Jos and Lucy had to duck. "I could spend time in ancient Rome, and learn the Latin language from the native speakers!!!! After all, we have as much time in the world as we need, now!! THEN, WE COULD GO BACK, AND I COULD BLAST THROUGH MY LATIN CLASS!!!" [Author's note: GAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! NOW I WISH THIS STORY WAS REAL!!!!! AAAAAAUUUUGGGGH!!!!!!]

"Um, yeah, Rose, that sounds real exciting, for all of us." Lucy grabbed the shell before it could do any damage. "But--"

"But, what?! All of us could visit anywhere, learning the languages, learning so many different things, then we could go back with that knowledge! Wouldn't that be so cool? To speak the language like a native!" I ran along the beach, kicking up sand as I went, just for the sheer joy of kicking up sand.

"Yeah, right, real exciting," said Zac, scratching his head. "Now, where are we going *next*?"

"Well, we could go visit any place, any time, soooooo ..." Taylor started.

"What are some significant events in history?" asked Isaac, spotting a crustacean of some sort crawling along the beach. He poked his toe at it, before jumping back and continuing walking.

Lucy started, "Well, there's the Viet Nam War. World War II. World War I. The Civil War. The American Revo--"

"Lucy, do you *really* want to go some time in history and watch a bunch of people get killed?" Jos asked.

"Er ... well ... noooo, not really ..."

"What else is there?" I asked everyone, as I watched Lucy pull a quarter out of the sand. "A quarter??" I asked. Lucy shrugged.

"Well, we could ... hmmmmm. There aren't many significant events that didn't involve the death of--"

"NO WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed once again, overly excited for this time of morning, however, since it was technically 5 at *night* because we went back 12 hours in time, it was perfectly fine to be that perky.

"What is it *now*?" asked Jos. "You're so loud! You're going to wake up the Hawaiians!"

"Yeah, and they'll be crabby, and no one wants a crabby Hawaiian!" said Zac.



"No, you guys, seriously, I've got it!" I said impatiently. Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me?

"What, what, what?" asked Jos.

"Do you think that ... there's any way we could watch ... the first Christmas?"

No one said anything for a moment. Just then, the sun broke over the horizon.

"Hmmmm. Not a bad idea ..." Lucy said.

Taylor asked, "You want to go now?"

Back | Next
Epic Tale Index